It’s gotten to a point where the drama and outrageousness of American politics has become nearly indistinguishable from that of reality television.
No, seriously. Who here hasn’t woken up to one of Trump’s unhinged morning Twitter rants and wondered whether the country is starring in a painfully long episode of Punk’d?
It’s been a difficult and baffling nine months as Americans continue to watch a man with so much power use his platform to go on and on about ratings, television, crowd sizes, and firing people. Most times, there seems to be only one logical explanation for Trump’s behavior: he must genuinely believe he’s on a reality show.
Before he made his unexpected move to politics, you likely remember Trump from The Apprentice — a reality show on which he oversaw a group of competitors completing business-related tasks, firing the unqualified and rewarding the winner with a job.
When it came time for the 2016 election, for all we know Trump may have simply been under the impression that those months spent campaigning were part of an elaborate audition process for the greatest reality show on Earth.
So here are 10 reality shows Donald Trump probably thinks he’s on right now, which would explain a lot TBH.
Extreme Makeover: America Edition
If Ty Pennington and his crew require a week to transform a house, I suppose it makes sense that Donald Trump would need a bit longer — like four years — to totally make America over. Tune in every second of every day to watch the president completely tear down the country and attempt build a new, GREAT one.
He’s already gotten started on the renovations, remodeling the Oval Office in that “dump” of a White House to include more flags, golden curtains, some new wall paper, and a vase of flowers — but there’s still so much more to be done. Here’s hoping Trump’s “secret project” doesn’t involve Russia.
Survivor: White House
Dozens of average Americans are given the chance of a lifetime: to work alongside the president of the United States in the White House. The only catch? They have to survive a constant series of bleak and challenging circumstances that put their morals, loyalty, and temperament to the test.
Looking at some of the season’s top contestants like Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Steve Mnuchin, Jeff Sessions, Anthony Scaramucci, and Steve Bannon — several are still in the game while others couldn’t even last beyond 10 days. Who will survive till the end?
Say Yes to the Distress
A series that follows Donald Trump as he’s presented with a variety of monumental decisions to make, tweets to approve, and actions to take as president of the United States.
After a short debate, each episode ends with viewers getting a chance to see Trump say yes to the most distressing option. Fun!
It’s another way to experience that familiar gut-sinking distress you’ve encountered upon learning Trump’s done things like ban transgender people from serving in the military via Twitter, pardon Joe Arpaio during a hurricane for the high ratings, call for NFL players protesting to be fired, and refer to white supremacists as “very fine people.”
(Do not recommend binging.)
Real Househusbands of D.C.
Trump must be under the impression the Housewives franchise is expanding to give the world what it really craves: An inside look at the lives and politics of Washington, D.C.’s most powerful husbands. Follow the daily lives and dramas of White House husbands Donald Trump, Mike Pence, and yes, even Jared Kushner in this series you’ll swear is scripted.
What Not to Tweet
Looks like it’s time for the iconic Clinton Kelly and Stacy London to restyle Trump’s Twitter approach, helping him craft the perfect 140 (or 280?) character messages while stealthily trying to remedy his baggy trousers and address his desperate need for a tie clip in the process.
The Political Apprentice
Forget Celebrity Apprentice, Trump’s in the White House now, introducing politicians and administration members to his signature catchphrase, “YOU’RE FIRED.”
Contestants lucky enough to be welcomed onto Trump’s team will have the opportunity to complete nearly impossible business tasks like ensuring positive news stories make their way to his desk daily, fundraising money to pay for The Wall, and attempting to prove high ratings and attendance numbers that don’t actually exist.
Trump’s ideal political apprentice will clean up his messes and uphold his family’s name at all costs, even if it means creating “alternative facts.” So far he’s said farewell to unfit business people like Price, Scaramucci, Priebus, Spicer, Comey, Bharara, and Yates. Who will be next?
The Biggest Losers and Haters
Trump loves calling out the “haters and losers” of the world — like media outlets, fathers, and fans of Jon Stewart — on Twitter, and as he advances further into his presidential career more and more keep revealing themselves. This season — which promises to be yuge, tremendous, and bigly — Trump will work to identify and expose America’s top losers and haters. Sad!
Keeping Up With the Trumps
Keeping Up with the Trumps is the only place to follow the complex personal lives and relationships of the Trump family as they take on Washington, D.C.
Watch as Donald and Melania rule the White House with Ivanka and Jared, Donald Jr. and Vanessa, Eric and Lara, and of course, Barron, by their sides. (Complete with revealing confessionals and the occasional check-in with Tiffany at law school.)
Up next on this season: Will Melania realize she’s married to a bully? Can Jared switch the gender on his voter registration form to male? Will we finally hear Ivanka call the president “daddy?” And what will Donny T do once he gets those extra 140 Twitter characters? Stay tuned.
America’s Got Fascism
Talent is so last season. This year, the nation’s favorite weekly competition is looking to bring something much more disturbing front and center as our very own president judges politicians (or aspiring ones, like Kid Rock) on their ability to curtail rights and abuse power.
Inspiration can be taken from the many times Trump and his motley crew of dedicated employees have attempted to ban Muslims from entering the country, continuously attacked the press, and called for the firing of private citizens for exercising free speech, amongst other disturbing actions.
The winning act will be awarded $1 million and a spot in his administration. And be sure to tweet “He’s a fascist” at Trump during the show for a chance to be retweeted.
House Hunters Russia
House Hunters Russia gives viewers a behind-the-scenes look at Trump’s search for the perfect property near Vladimir Putin.
In each episode Trump will survey a different home and real estate option while a team of professionals help him decide which is best suited to serve as his Russian White House.
Will he go for a summer home the whole family can enjoy like Westchester’s Seven Springs? St. Petersburg’s answer to Mar-a-Lago? Or will he just decide to open another Trump Tower? You’ll have to wait and see, but odds are the property will include a golf course and several framed photos of Trump and his Russian BFF.
Hang in there folks, every show has to end eventually.
Read more: http://mashable.com/